When our daughter Helen came to our family from Ethiopia six years ago, she was delighted to learn about her birthday. She learned that it was on June 16 and that she was going to turn six.
June 16, 2002, arrived, a party was staged, thereafter she was six.
A few weeks later, in a happy reverie, she asked, "When will my birthday be next year?"
"June 16," I reminded her. "Your birthday is on June 16."
But she reacted with shock and disappointment: "June 16??? AGAIN?? I DID June 16 already."
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| Daniel Samuel, summer 07 |
Our new son Daniel's birthday (according to his birth certificate) is July 14.
The birth certificate said he turned 12 on July 14. But that seems impossible. If he was 11 when he arrived in America this past June, he instantly became the tallest 11-year-old in North America.
Surely he turned 13 on July 14. (Or sometime this past year.)
We didn't have a party for him on July 14 because (a) the birthdate had fallen into disrepute with us and we are trying to sort it out; and (b) many family members were at sleepaway camp or out of town.
So we arbitrarily made a birthday party for him yesterday, so he wouldn't feel left out.
I didn't understand what he meant, the night before last, when he asked me, "14? Mom tomorrow 14? 14?"
"No," I said, you'll be... well, let's just say you're 13, even though your birth certificate says you're 12. We'll try to correct the birth certificate to reflect your understanding that you are 13."
This was not a reasonable explanation to a non-English-speaking person.
He tried again: "Tomorrow 14 Mom?"
"13, we can say you're 13 rather than 12."
He wanted to try another tack.
But he didn't have any other tacks, other than reversing word-order. "14 Mom tomorrow?"
"I don't think you're 14. Let's stick with 13, OK?"
"Oh my God," he said.
Daniel often says this, slapping himself in the forehead, when our conversations hit the wall like this. Which they do several times a day. "Oh my God" signals a throwing up of hands, a complete abandonment of the attempt. He walked off in his gangly stork-like way, his shoulders prematurely hunched.
It just hit me: "14" referred to July 14. He was asking me if yesterday, August 1, was July 14, since we told him his birthday is on July 14.
These poor children are lost in time and space.
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| Daniel |
Daniel came home from his first day of American seventh-grade with some remarkable reports.
Of his ESOL classes: "Friend me yes," he told Donny. "Many friend me, one French he speak Malaki; one Mexican he speak French, two African."
"What do they speak?"
"Mexican."
A few days later he had more happy news from ESOL: "New friend Mom me good friend."
"Where is he from?"
"China."
"Nice," I said. Then, unable to resist, I asked, "And what does he speak?"
"Korean."
I burst out laughing.
"Oh my God," said Daniel.
